


Until the day you tell me (that you love me too)

by sleepifish



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Eren, Eren is scared, Everyone is kinda gay, Half-Sibling Incest, Insecurity, M/M, Rape, Self Harm, Submissive Eren, Suicide Attempt, Underage Sex, both of them are high school students, dub-con, non-con, or he has multiple personality disorder, sadistic, self hate, they are both underage, zeke is either bipolar, zeke is possessive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepifish/pseuds/sleepifish
Summary: In which Zeke loves his little brother way too much that he ends up hurting him and he wishes for Eren to fight. The sadistic circle repeats every single day.(High school! AU)
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Zeke Yeager
Comments: 9
Kudos: 144





	1. take you like a drug

Zeke notices, that girls’ head turns whenever he walks by. And sometimes the quiet giggles they give away just click together with their sheepish behavior around him. Pieck teases him about it way too many times, that he can pick any female student that he wants and they’ll fall for him in a quick instance. So there’s no reason for him to be single. 

Being the captain of their school’s football club has its perk, most definitely. And he is a prefect, too. So everything at school goes perfect for him. Nobody dares to disobey him, if anything the girls are dying to do anything he asks them to do. Zeke has to admit, it’s only food for his ego, the way their eyes brighten up whenever he gives them a simple “hi” or just a polite “good morning”. 

Even Porco admits that he is handsome and good-looking, and it’s not something usual for the grumpy and moody Galliard to praise just anyone. So that’s saying something. 

But despite all of that, Zeke himself is a monster who doesn’t deserve to be admired. That’s what he tells himself as he turns his head to the other side of the bed, his younger brother (step-brother, to be exact) unconscious from what he just did to him. “My poor, sweet little brother,” he mumbles in pity as he reaches his hand to caress the sleeping boy’s cheek gently and lightly, afraid of waking him up. Then he notices how Eren’s bare chest rise and fall in rhythm, so it crosses his mind that he must be cold. So the blond pulls the blanket over and covers his younger brother with it. Zeke wants to hate himself because of it, but he can’t help it. Eren is cute as hell, and how can he hold himself when there are only two of them in the house, their grandparents always being out of town for duty even at that age they should be resting. 

He just keeps comforting himself off the remorse that is eating him inside, telling himself that one day Eren will understand how much he loves him. And this is all an act of love.

“You’re awake,” says Zeke as he tightens the loose tie to sit perfectly at the collar of his shirt. He’s not even looking at Eren’s direction, but he can tell the younger is conscious now that he can’t hear the soft noise any longer. “I’ve left some money on the nightstand, get some food for yourself to eat later.”

“I don’t have to go to school?” Asks Eren, his voice weak and lifeless. 

Zeke sits by the bed, leaning down to the point where he is reaching eye to eye level as Eren. “Not today. You can rest,” he presses a gentle kiss on top of Eren’s head and he can feel the other squirms underneath. He hates himself because of it. He really wishes he can resist himself, to put an end to this, but he can’t. He really can’t. “Until I get back at least, I’ll be back late.” 

“Does it still hurt?” Zeke asks, genuinely concerned though he knows well enough that it is because of him, too. 

“Y-yeah,” Eren stutters as he gathers all the last energy he has to have his voice. 

“I’m sorry,” Zeke mutters with guilt underneath his low tone. “Here, have some pain killer. And drink plenty of water too.” 

“Can I rest today? Please,” there’s desperation in Eren’s croaked voice. Zeke looks at him, sympathizing, but there are no promises here. “Big brother. Please, I feel sick.”

“You know how bad it gets when you beg,” Zeke tries to warn him, though trying to keep his voice as soft as possible. “Behave and we’ll see about it. I’ll get going now, don’t want to be late.” He plants another kiss on Eren’s sweaty forehead. “I love you.” He reminds him, and the other never replies. Of course, he will never. 

He’s back home late that day, just like he said earlier that morning. 

Eren is already there at the living room, laying down on the couch as his green eyes lazily fixed on the TV screen even though whatever he has on seems pretty boring. It is when Zeke closes the door it finally snaps the younger male’s attention. He turns around to look at him. “You’re home already?”

Zeke raises his brow in question at him, almost disappointed. But then again, what was he expecting? “What’s with the already? Don’t you miss me?” 

Eren is smart enough not to say a single word, only pursing his lips together as he holds himself from shaking in Zeke’s presence. 

“Come and give your big brother a hug.” Zeke demands, to which Eren only obey silently, throwing his smaller body at Zeke’s much taller one, wrapping both of his arms around Zeke’s neck, and buries his face on Zeke’s broad chest. “I miss you…” his voice is small, slightly muffled against the other’s chest before pulling away from the hug, not even giving the other a chance to respond because he knows damn well where it will lead if he stays there a second longer. 

“You seem tired, big brother. You should rest.” 

Zeke is growing frustrated at this. Eren can’t be more eager to get rid of him, he knows. It is definitely fear, what he sees in Eren’s bright emerald eyes. So he just nods in silence, before he can even think of anything else, and walks off to his bedroom. From his back, he can feel Eren smiling in relief behind him.


	2. i taste you on my tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is down to the dirty.  
> i took my time fixing here and there, just let me know what you think :) 
> 
> also a reminder that zeke is 17 years old while eren is 15. 
> 
> hope you like it. <3

Everyone knows Zeke Yeager as a young man with a strong sense of justice, a responsible and fair leader, nodding his head to no one else but the rules and the law. A few teachers even suggest Zeke to go to a law school after graduating high school because it seems like he’s fit for the job, in which he takes into consideration. 

But beneath that, Zeke is the only one who knows himself and he won’t say the same about himself.

He’s nothing but a disgusting animal with no absolute sense of mercy, only letting himself be driven by raging lusts and fury. And Eren is the unfortunate one to discover this barbaric side of him. He hates himself because of that, he really does. 

Zeke sits quietly at lunch, observing Marcel as the brunet teases Porco about someone the younger one likes in a playful manner and the rest of the group joining in with laughter. Zeke chooses not to say anything, just smiling faintly as he feels envy creeping up on him. If only he and Eren could have just a slightly similar brotherhood. But there’s no one else to blame but himself. It’s his fault that Eren is suffering. 

He hopes one day he can free Eren. From anything else, from himself mostly.

Eren is standing there, too focused with the food he’s preparing that he doesn’t notice Zeke’s presence just a couple meters away from him. Zeke watches quietly, adoring how beautiful his younger looks, even when his pretty face is away from sight. Eren has a lean, slim figure that is perfect for his embrace. He’s growing taller, day by day, and it is getting too apparent for Zeke not to notice. The thought saddens him immediately. Eren is still growing. Barely even fifteen, and he has to go through all of this suffering.

He’s still a child, after all. 

But of fucking course, Zeke has to be a monster that can’t hold himself. That’s why he approaches Eren and startles the other when he wraps his bigger arms around the other’s slender waist. Still, Eren has not said a word. Resting his chin on top of Eren’s shoulder, he nuzzles his nose against his little brother’s neck. Inhaling the scent of what smells like a mixture of peach and apple with a heavy exhale. Zeke could get high to this. 

Eren froze in his position, grimacing from Zeke’s sudden appearance. “I-I’m cooking, Zeke,” his voice sounds pleading. “It’s for you too.”

“What did you just call me?”

“Brother,” Eren corrects himself quickly at that, trembling in fear. “Please, brother, you must be hungry…” 

“For you,” Zeke talks under his short breath, still inhaling in Eren’s scent that feels enthralling to him. Ah, fuck, he lost all sense of self-control he owns, and it is not like he had any, anyway. Eren is there, being perfect as always, seducing him with his petite body as always. He wants to pity Eren right now, he really does especially when he can feel Eren shivers under his touch, but a part of himself tells him that Eren deserves this and that Eren has asked for this to happen. And Zeke himself is fucked in the head, that’s why he enjoys Eren squirming helplessly under him, knowing he has complete control over the younger boy. He can do anything he wants.

He owns Eren. 

And nothing turns him on more than that. 

“Ah!” Eren yelps at the grazing on the sensitive spot of his neck, Zeke’s hands now slipping under the front part of his shirt, roaming wildly as in he’s taking in the warmth of Eren’s skin before his thick hands finally finds their way to Eren’s nipples that are both instantly hardened by a single stoke. Eren’s a slut, Zeke knows, that’s why he deserves this. All of this. 

Zeke starts thrusting his hips against Eren’s clothed ass, forcing his growing bulge to slip in between Eren’s plump as cheeks. He lets out a groan at that, thinking of the clothes they have on as an obstacle, so Zeke pulls away from their position only to shove Eren forcefully on the kitchen’s cabinet. Now he can clearly see the pretty face of his little brother, his bright green eyes meeting his dark blue ones and Zeke can see clearly how Eren’s eyes swims with tears and terror. He lets out a pathetic whimper as Zeke takes his pants off and spreads his legs wide as well as placing them on his shoulders. 

Eren’s ass looks perfect like this, the pink, puckering hole all exposed for the view of his eyes and his only. One thing bothers him still, it’s the shirt Eren still has on, so he removes it instantly. He sucks his own breath in at such a mesmerizing sight of Eren, completely vulnerable for him. He can never grow tired at such a beautiful sight, if anything he’s addicted to it. “Fuck… You’re so beautiful,” he praises, though it sounds sharp to Eren’s ears, and it doesn’t even help the tears streaming down his face, and that only earns himself a slap across his face. 

“I haven’t even started yet, little brother, so why are you crying?” Zeke grunts fiercely. Of course he just needs a reason to lay his hand upon Eren’s pretty face, and he likes torturing him so why hold him? Eren is fucking perfect like this. Just a slave to his burning desire. “You asked for this, didn’t you?”

“I did!” Eren sobs out, with no will at all, only afraid of what Zeke might do if he refuses and struggles. “I asked f-for it…” 

“Thought so, you slut,” Zeke sends a smirk at him, his eyes glint with ardour. He hears his older brother unbuckles his own pants, and Eren’s pink lips are now red from him sinking his teeth in horror. “You’re a pretty little whore, aren’t you? Now beg for my cock,” Zeke’s voice makes him shivers terribly, goosebumps raising up but that is the only way to get over with this. And Zeke knows this. 

“P-please,” he forces out, his voice timid from the tears, “big brother… please…” 

“Please what, hm? Say it.” 

“I want your cock! Your big cock. Inside me, please- Ahh!” Eren hisses at the sharp pain sipping in at his hole. Tears roll down his cheeks faster than before. It can never be not painful. Especially with the way Zeke only shoves all of his huge length inside by force and tearing him apart like that without a single care that he may be in pain. He can feel warmth flowing out of his hole, and no doubt it is his own blood because Zeke’s a damn pain that doesn’t cum as quickly as Eren wishes he would. 

“So tight…” Zeke lets out a groan in pleasure, having Eren’s tight muscles sucking him in and clenching around his wide girth is only driving him crazy because of how good it is. He’s been dreaming about this all day, having boner in class every now and then just because thinking of his little sibling’s face. And now he finally gets it he can’t get enough, his little brother’s legs all spread wide for him to do anything that he wants to. All obedient and submissive. And what’s even more pleasing is that, all of this is only for him and never anybody else. “Fuck, Eren, you’re perfect,” he praises, “I’ll fuck you any time of the day, little brother.” 

Screams of agony as well the sound of skins clapping together echo the atmosphere of the kitchen as Zeke soon picks up his pace, not even giving Eren a single chance to breathe and definitely not giving a fuck if the younger one is in absolute pain that he can pass out any moment now. Zeke has gone mad, there’s no denying that, and he is possessed by burning lust. Eren can only cry his soul out, and impatiently waits for this to be over for this time. 

Unfortunately, his screams are not making his pain feels at ease but it only turns Zeke on even more. How satisfied he is, the cute little mouth now screaming out loud for him, as he fucks his sweet little brother senselessly. Eren’s eyes are about to shutter close, probably on the verge of passing out, so Zeke wraps his hand around Eren’s neck only to tighten it like a rope, purposely pressing his thumb harshly on Eren’s throat as the younger one chokes out and gasps for air – for life –, his eyes now wide open again that Zeke can see the emerald glimpse even brighter with the tears. “Don’t you dare pass out on me, you little bitch,” he snarls aggressively as a warning. Eren chokes on his own sob, wanting to beg for at least a little mercy, but it will only drive Zeke more insane than he already is so he won’t give him the satisfaction. 

This feels endless to Eren, and his lithe body bouncing up and down from his brother’s vigorous shove is only making him dizzier and he wants to throw up, so badly. The little pleasure he feels from this cannot make up to the great amount of the burning pain he feels tearing at his ass and it only getting worse with each thrust Zeke forces into him. His vision is getting blurry, but he forces himself to stay awake and conscious as much as he can because God knows what Zeke might do to him. He never likes the punishments his big brother gives him, because they’re usually much more brutal than this. He emits a weak moan anyway, releasing his own load that lands on his own chest to his stomach. Then he weakly pleads, “b-brother…”

“My, my. You came only to my cock,” Zeke sounds satisfied. “You wanted my cock right from the start, didn’t you? What a slut.” 

Zeke’s evil smirk fades into the thin air, getting much more and more blurry before it all turns dark grey for Eren. 

By the time he wakes up, Eren is on the bed, feeling weak and his head spinning around. He is terribly hungry, too. He weakly averts his eyes to the alarm clock on his nightstand. Three minutes left before it’s 8 p.m. So that’s why he’s starving, because he hasn’t even had his lunch yet because of what happened. And it is dinner time already. 

Eren can’t help but cry. He can’t move, he feels paralyzed from the sore, stinging pain that shoots up his ass and his spine. He feels helpless and it will be three more days before his grandparents come home shortly. It will be three more days for this hell to end temporarily. At least until they go away again. 

Sometimes Eren thinks about getting out of the house and maybe stay at a hostel but it won’t be a wise decision either. Zeke will only come for him at school and he doesn’t want the public attention on this certain personal problem. He’s ashamed of it, and he makes sure no one knows about it – not even his closest of friends. He doesn’t want anyone to know that he is practically his older brother’s sex slave. And Zeke, his master. 

He even thinks about fighting Zeke. To stand up for himself and fight. For his own life. But he’s weaker. He hates it that he’s weak. Zeke’s much bigger, age being one of the factors and Zeke possesses the strength of an adult, while he’s still a teenager himself. Eren figures it must have something to do with the athletic part of his brother and that’s even worse. He can’t stand up to him and there’s definitely no escape. 

“Brother,” Zeke’s voice makes him shiver, even though it is in a gentle tone this time. The older one steps through the door, carrying a tray with a bowl with steam still evaporating into the air, and a glass of water along with a board of pain killers too. “You’re hungry, aren’t you? Here, eat this, okay? I’ll help feeding you if you can’t get up.”

Eren wants to break down into a sob. He hates how Zeke sounds sickeningly genuine and worried and caring, while he was none of it just a couple hours ago. But he chooses not to. “Yes, please…” he whispers, looking up at Zeke who’s now sitting by the bed. 

Zeke offers him a sympathetic smile and blows at the steaming hot food before he draws a spoonful of porridge to his mouth, to which he accepts faintly. Zeke keeps feeding him until the bowl is half full, once a while wiping the mess away from the corner of his lips. “Water, please,” he asks, and Zeke doesn’t say anything and only obeys when he tilts the glass down the younger’s slightly parted mouth. 

“Can I sleep alone tonight, big brother?” Eren requests quietly. He doesn’t want another round with Zeke, not tonight. He’s far too weak for that and he may even die at this rate. Zeke seems hurt, and fear strikes Eren again. What if Zeke gets angry? He doesn’t want that too…

But much to his surprise, Zeke nods and smiles bitterly. “Of course you can. Just yell if you need any help. I will be there for you, always…” he says reassuringly, but Eren doesn’t buy it at all. 

Zeke is only there to nurse him back to health so he can fuck him again and again and again.


	3. you ask me what i'm thinking about, i'll tell you that i'm thinking about whatever you're thinking about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of flashbacks from Zeke's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be clear, Eren moved in with Zeke about a year ago when Zeke was 16.  
> The flashbacks are from time to time, it doesn't stay at one scene. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy! :]

“That was Armin’s money for the whole week! Fucking give it back!” Eren roars angrily, holding the dark gray-haired boy by his collar, his green eyes darken with anger. It is only a matter of time before he lands his fist on the stupid face plastered with a smug smile.

“Huh?” The boy looks at him with disinterest. “I told you I’ve spent it. I can’t give it back to you losers,” with that, Eren hears the snickers of amusement from the bully’s friends that stand right by each of the boy’s side. Something inside Eren cannot hold it back anymore, especially with Armin’s helpless pleading behind him, asking him to stop and that he shouldn’t worry about it. It’s just a little bit of money.

Armin has always been like that. Always so forgiving of others, always a pacifist, always loving the peace and Eren wonders what in his genius brain that he’s thinking. He never wants to fight back, he just lets everything go as long as he can keep the peace. And nothing about that satisfies Eren. It is fake peace, Eren thinks. Eren can’t keep this from going on – they have to fight. Fight! So people don’t think they can take advantage of them, so people don’t see them as weaklings that will just nod and hum to everything they say, or do. Nobody else is going to fight for them, so it’s their only choice. 

Fake peace, huh. What’s the point of that if this bullying keeps repeating on a daily basis? Now more frequent than ever? Eren can’t have it that way. Not for his friend, at least. 

“Then, suck it and replace it with yours!” 

With another yell of fury, Eren sends the boy flying to the ground with a punch of all his strength gathered together lunging forward at the face that was smug just a second ago. Eren is not holding back anymore, and he’s far from done. He storms towards the bully, ready to raise his leg to send another vigorous kick. Armin’s voice fades in the background, as the only thing he has set on his mind right now is to teach this jerk – and his friends – how to sympathize at least a little fucking bit. The two friends that were standing by the bully’s side, now both holding his arms back. 

“What the hell, since when did you get strong?!” He hears one of them asks, and he screams as loudly as he can. “Let me go! I’m not done yet!” 

“What’s going on here?” 

A deep voice comes asking, and Eren recognizes it too well even without looking at the direction from where it comes from. The only voice that can stop Eren, can turn him obedient, can make him forget the pile of anger and frustration that is building up inside him, and replace it with nothing else but fear. So Eren freezes in his spot, the other two boys letting him go and one still on the ground. 

“This looks bad. What happened, Armin?” He hears Zeke repeats his question to his friend, seeing that he’s not going to answer him. 

“Ah, n-nothing, Zeke! Nothing happened,” Armin lies terribly, probably only to get Zeke to close his eyes to this situation and Eren is sick of it. 

“Nothing?! They took Armin’s food money and it was for the rest of the week!” Eren clenches his fist. He’s scared. He’s scared of what Zeke might do to him later for ‘raising his voice’ at him, but he has to help Armin. He has to fight. For Armin. 

Surprisingly enough, Zeke is calm. Eren doesn’t know what he was expecting, maybe Zeke starts pushing him off and punishing him mercilessly. But of course, Zeke won’t do that now, not with people surrounding them. He doesn’t know why he was picturing that kind of response, and it has him trembling though he tries not to make it obvious. He knows Armin is way too observant and is always calculating, so he can’t let it show. Not even the tiniest bit. 

“I’ll replace it for you, Armin. I’m so sorry this happened. Did you eat today?” 

Armin lets the conversation go with a small nod and only says that he had an apple for breakfast but Zeke insists on joining him at lunch so he can get something for the younger male. Eren doesn’t know what happens next because everything around him is fading into a haze, but the three other boys are following after Zeke after they are being told to, most probably to the discipline office.

Zeke unlocks the door, strolling into the house with Eren following quietly after him. He has so much to ask his little brother, but he decides not to. It was a tiring day at school after all. So he’ll just let Eren rest. He knows even his presence alone makes the other feel tense and Eren can’t engage properly in a conversation with him because of that. Zeke honestly doesn’t blame him.

“Eat before you rest, Eren,” Zeke reminds him softly, then he chooses to walk straight up to his room and closes the door behind. There is always some kind of barbaric presence that possesses him whenever he stays around Eren alone even just a little bit longer. Zeke pities his younger brother deeply and he wants to put an end to it but he has tried. So many times. Zeke loves Eren just a little bit too much that it comes to blind his senses. 

Placing himself onto the bed, Zeke sighs as he looks up at the ceiling. The fan spinning round and round at a fast speed, so he’s not feeling hot. He figures a shower will help him feel better, but his mind wanders off as he recalls the images from earlier. 

Eren. 

Eren’s face fuming red with pure rage and anger, smoke practically blows out of both of his blushed ears. Eren’s desperate to fight, to prove himself, Zeke is much aware of that. He was incredibly turned on at such a sight earlier, thinking to himself Eren is so pretty, and being all flustered like that only puts him to a test. But right now, he tries his best to shrug the filthy thoughts off his head. 

Zeke exhales a sigh and closes his eyes. If only Eren would fight him back. 

He wishes one day Eren will stand up for himself the way he did for his friend. Maybe it will only cause him much more pain, even Zeke can’t guarantee immediate freedom for his brother, but eventually... those who fight shall be free. 

Zeke has failed to fight himself. He’s a prisoner to his burning desire. And every moment of his breaths he’s been doing just that – fighting himself. Even right now, that if it does anything, it’s only driving him insane. So someone else must do it, someone else must fight him. Someone who’s stronger than him. And he can’t think of anyone else other than Eren. 

He stands up, walking towards the bathroom as he takes his clothes off. Staring at the mirror, Zeke can see every day he’s growing more and more into the man he once hated. The resemblance is significant now more than ever, except for the color of his old man’s hair which was dark while his is platinum blonde but aside from that, his facial features is almost like Grisha himself. Zeke is not particularly proud of it. 

Looking at himself only makes him feel dizzy and he can feel a lump at his throat, threatening to come out any moment. His mind takes him back to years ago, when he was just a little child and his innocence was pure. Images of memories and trauma flash before him.

“Dad— stop! Please!” 

A young boy held his hands on his face as he cried, the belt his old man used hit him again and again to wherever it could reach his body. The pain stung his skin and turned into a burn after a mere minute. And some parts he could feel his skin growing numb of the pain because it was too much. He did not dare to look at his father in the eye, knowing it was pure anger and never a sign of love. 

“I expected better than this, you bastard!” Grisha – dad – screamed. “What did you think it was all about?! I waste my time every single day sending and picking you up from school, and you’re at the bottom of the class? My friends are talking about their successful children at work! And what do I say about you, huh? That you’re a fucking embarrassment?!” 

Zeke sobbed harshly as the belt slapped him again and again with each sentence that came out of Grisha’s mouth. It was never his intention to fail his old man.

“Who is your hero, Zeke? What do you want to be when you grow up?” Another voice changed the atmosphere. Standing before him is Mr. Xaver and no longer Grisha who was filled with rage. He was not at home anymore, but at school. The whole class quiet and it felt like there was no one else but the teacher. The background was faint. 

His blue eyes looked up at the English teacher. Without hesitation, he beamed. “I want to be like my dad! He’s strong and smart.” He was honest. He could see Mr. Xaver’s lips were moving as the middle-aged man smiled, but there was no sound as the background faded and the teacher’s figure turned into a dark shadow, vanishing into the distance before it turned to a figure of a woman. The background changed back to his house. He was no longer at school.

The woman dropped onto her knees, her whole world crashing apart as she cried her heart out. Zeke stood by her, in the body of a small, 8-years-old boy. “Mom?” He reached to touch her back, but her hand was faster than his as she swatted him away harshly. 

“This is all your fault!” The woman screamed at him in tears, then she looked at him with the similar rage his father had in her sky blue eyes. She had a pocket knife in her hand, now pointing at Zeke as she continued to yell her feelings out, almost repeating the same line again and again. “He left me for that woman! And this is all your fault!”

Zeke fell into silence as he stared at her, hurt. What did he do? Did he fail his class again? He was just growing up. Was it a crime? He was still a kid – just a kid. He had no single clue of how cruel this world can be. Even in his wrecked household, he had not a clue about what was going on. Who was to blame? Was it his fault that all of this was happening? 

“I wish you’d never even been born!” She sobbed her last words, dragging the knife to her throat and slit her life away in a matter of seconds. It was too fast, too soon for young Zeke could take in what was happening. Her body dropped completely to the ground, completely lifeless and he did not hear any sobbing noise coming out from her lips anymore. Zeke could only stare as a hint of her blood splashed on his cheek. 

“Mom…” he whispered silently. He was too overwhelmed that it started to feel… numb. And empty at once.

“Zeke!” 

Another voice came, and Zeke was no longer the small boy. He was a teenager as he is in the present. A lot had been going on since yesterday, including receiving the news that his father and his wife died in a car crash. Zeke could not bring himself to cry. He felt nothing. Only emptiness, the same way he felt years ago when he watched his mother take her own life away before him.

“We will go and fetch Eren from the hospital. He’s finally awake!” The old lady – his grandmother – announced with a smile in relief, grateful that she had not lost another life after her son. “Go get ready, Zeke. Grandpa will pick us up in an hour.” 

Eren. 

He kept repeating the name again and again in his head until he was finally face to face with the younger boy. He looked nothing like dad. That was the first thing that crossed his mind when he saw the dark-haired boy with soft features upon his frowning face, almost too feminine. His bright, green eyes glimmered with quiet despair and Zeke could see emotions swimming in the emerald iris. The boy stayed quiet and mute, not a single word came out of his mouth even with the attempt of the old married couple to talk to him.

So this is what she looked like, Zeke thought to himself. That woman his mother mentioned before she died. Dad- Grisha left him for this boy and the mother of his.

Zeke is pulled back to reality when he feels pain numbing his knuckles. He is not surprised to find his hand clenched into a fist in between the cracks in the mirror that was perfectly smooth until a few seconds ago. Blood starts to drip from his hand but he just lets it flow. 

None of the physical pain matches the storm he feels inside.

“What’s wrong with your hand?” Eren frowns at his older brother, reaching to take his hand closer and examines the wound. It looks fresh, with a dark red hue still visible along the lines of flesh cut open. The blond male has been quiet the whole day, except for when they were at school. Eren is still scared of what he might do, but he wonders if Zeke is mad at him for causing a scene at school but he figures that Zeke would not be the harm in this state. “It wasn’t here earlier,” he points out. 

“Yeah,” Zeke mumbles quietly, liking the warmth of his little brother’s hand holding his. His face almost falls when Eren lets go and rushes to his own bedroom. It doesn’t take the younger male another minute when he comes back with a first-aid kit. 

“I’m sorry about today, brother.” He apologizes with a soft voice, taking Zeke’s hand again as he spreads a yellow hue of iodine on the cuts. Zeke hisses at the pain, and Eren looks at him with pity which pains him even more. He doesn’t deserve this – Eren sympathizing him with absolutely no idea of what’s going on. He has been nothing but a monster to the younger boy. 

Eren is gentle with his touches. The way he wraps the bandage around Zeke’s hand carefully because he does not want the other to be in pain. Zeke’s gaze of blue attached to Eren’s face as the other is looking down at his hand. Taking in the sight silently as his brother’s delicate features softening with care, his emerald eyes calm and relaxed with no hints of the usual shiver out of fear. Zeke would give the world to stay like this. 

“I love you,” he blurts out, his voice almost breaks as he holds back his tears from pouring out. He has been an emotional mess lately, he knows. Eren shifts his eyes from the bandaged hand to meet his blue ones, only replying with a small smile yet says nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's for a start. It's my first attempt at posting my work. Wish me well! And feel free to leave a comment or critic! :)


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